Hey there. I hope everyone is doing well so far into the new year. I just feel like 2022 came right in and started doing way too much! We lost a few legends, Rona and Omarion are still running around like they have no sense and too much is going on. We didn’t ask for all of this! I said the other day we need to send 2022 back and start over lol. I just hope the rest of this year calms down and stops doing too much.
I have not been okay lately and just haven’t felt like blogging or filming any videos for YouTube. The main reason is my 9 to 5. I feel myself slipping back into that depressive, dark place I was with my other job. It is not as bad as it was before but it is too much and shouldn’t be happening. I thought I was getting a fresh start with new people who didn’t know me, I was starting a new career path and everything was going to be okay. I’m not sure what it is about me but I don’t understand why some people enjoy making the workplace miserable for others. I find myself second guessing everything I’m doing, tip toeing around making sure I’m doing everything right so an email is not sent to my bosses about stupid little petty things or even the VP of our region again. I’m not sure what I did to this person I work with but no one should have to go through this. I see why a lot of Black men and women leave corporate America and work for themselves. This is so tiring and draining. It is not good for my mental health at all and I just feel myself spiraling and to in a good place. And the funny thing is, I’m in HR now.
I just thought randomly how I feel like my light must shine that bright, it irritates others around me. Those people try to dim the light because it is irritating to them or they can’t take it. I feel like its the case for most of us in the workplace and that is why it is happening. I will not dim my light because you are uncomfortable or it irritates you. Honestly, it is just too bad.
I’m just trying to figure all that out and how I’m moving with my content now. I’m not sure if I want to keep blogging about products and stuff but not sure where I want to shift to. I know I will always be about my natural hair and makeup and stuff but I want to do more and expand. I’ll figure that out but I feel like I can’t be as “consistent” as Internet would like me to be. It is hard trying to show up every week consistently when you are not mentally there and just doing it for the sake of it. I don’t want to blog like that anymore. I know I have a usual set schedule of Tuesday, Thursday and Friday but I feel myself moving in the direction of posting when I want during the week. It may not be 3 times a week, it may be twice or once or maybe I’ll skip a week. I’ll stick to my days I normally post but it may not be all those days and I’m okay with that.