This really ties into the yesterday’s about fear. I feel like this is a real heavy lesson that I learned this year but I needed to so I can do better. I really have let myself down a lot this year and most of it is due to fear of course. We’re working on that but I could have done a lot better for myself this year.

I know you’re probably thinking why are you even saying anything like this or being so hard on yourself….well it is true. I really didn’t use my full potential or push myself enough or try hard enough on some things. I was just in this mode of not really feeling things and just like blah in a way. I feel like I could done so much better for myself and stop letting myself down. I would be super disappointed when something didn’t go my way or I didn’t get the jobs I’ve been applying for or in my feelings about my content or not taking good care of myself. I can only place the blame on myself, not anyone else.

Hopefully you get what I’m saying or getting at but my goal is to do better and be better next year so I don’t feel this way again.