Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas and got everything you wanted. I honestly do miss my large family gatherings. It just feels weird to still be seeing family via Zoom or video calls. I hope things start to get better especially next year so we can see people in person safely. Speaking of next year, until Friday I will be reflecting on what 2021 Taught Me. To be honest, it was a lot for me and thankful I got through this year. In a way it still feels like 2020 but just adding on chapters.
What I’ll be writing about this week may seem harsh and a lot but just being honest with myself. I feel like I could of believed in myself a lot more than I did. I know I always preach about being positive, positive vibes only and all but wasn’t practicing too much of that myself. I still had my negative thoughts, self sabotaging, doubting myself and so much more. It was starting to become mentally draining. I know I could of done better for myself this year. I am thankful for finding employment this year. I had to dig deep and believe that someone wanted to hire me because I had thoughts that I wasn’t good enough and no one wanted to hire me after my previous toxic environment. I saw the power of changing my mindset and pouring more into myself and look what happened. Now I’ll say this current environment is starting to take a bit of an negative toll on my mental health but it is not as bad as it was before.
I wished I believed more in myself with creating content and everything. I struggled still with watching how others are received on platforms, sponsored posts, hitting follower milestones and so on. I was thankful for the few sponsored posts I did have but I feel like they failed in my eyes. It bothered me how people didn’t show up for my content like I do for them. It discouraged me so much, thinking I won’t get opportunities like that again because of how badly my content did. I still doubt myself, thinking people are no longer liking what I put out, that people are not checking for me and so on. I feel like I have to conform to what everyone else is doing to be accepted and people to like my content and want to follow but I don’t. I want to do what works for me and not be a follower.
A lot of what 2021 taught me this years ties into each other. It was a lot but I am willing to take what I’ve learned and apply to it 2022. I feel like I am on the way to rebuilding and rediscovering myself. I feel like I just need to focus on me and figuring out what I need to do to improve and better myself. Has 2021 taught you anything this year? Let’s chat.