I love that there is literally a day for everything lol. National Chocolate Day, National Wine Day (my favorite obviously lol) and so many other national days. I guess it is good to celebrate the small things and anything you want to celebrate. As I was planning out this month’s content, I saw it was National Best Friend Day. I’ve been struggling with losing friendships over the years, trying to define what it means to be a good friend and questioning myself as a friend. You really learn so much along the way and wanted to share 3 things I’ve learned about friendships.
Not Everyone Is Your Friend : Listen, I used to go around calling everyone I met my friend or best friend. I was young and very impressionable and didn’t realize that people that I was calling a friend didn’t deserve that title. I learned the hard way that everyone is not your friend. Its sad that people are jealous of you or can’t stand you but you sometimes don’t realize the red flags and warning signs. You love having this person around and you will realize it sooner or later. I was still calling people my friend as an adult but started to realize people can be an associate or someone you know. Not everyone you come in contact with deserves a “friend” title.
Friendships can expire and it is okay: It was hard to let go of a few friendships over the years but it was necessary. If it is no longer benefitting you, the friendship is becoming difficult or stressful and you feel better when this person is not around, maybe its time to evaluate that friendship. Of course you should sit down and have a conversation about what is going on and see if it worth saving. I was trying to hold on because of how many years I’ve known the person but people grow up, grow differently and it is okay if it friendship has run it course or you grow apart. Please don’t be like me and just stop talking to people, well in some case you may need to distance yourself but still attempt to talk about it. And speaking of talking…..
Don’t be afraid to have those difficult conversations: I have been struggling with having difficult conversations with certain friends. I’m the fun friend who doesn’t like confrontation but sometimes you have to get uncomfortable and talk. There are things people have done or said that I honestly just let go and it can ruin your friendship if you don’t say anything. I have so much built up of what friends have said or done and never confronted them about it. Its not good to hold on to those things. You shouldn’t be afraid to have those difficult conversations and call people out on their shit.
Overall it is amazing when you have a circle of supportive, fun, loving, tough love friends. I feel like I was overthinking the whole friendship thing. It shouldn’t be that hard at all. I’m still trying to navigate through things but so grateful for those friends I do have in my circle.