Not sure why life lately has been super triggering and I think a lot of it has to do with work. I thought my problems and issues were over but no, they still continue and it is starting to take a toll on my mental health. I’m starting to revert back to that mindset I was in at my previous job and it was a lot. I told myself I never want to be back in that space but I can kinda feel it.
A lot it steams from the fear of losing another job. I try my hardest to pay attention and not make too many mistakes but no one is perfect but I feel like in this environment,I have to be perfect and not allowed to make mistakes. It’s a lot of pressure that I don’t like on myself. It is also people being super impatient that triggers me as well. I can only answer emails as fast as I can because I am working too and it gets to me when people expect me to drop whatever I’m doing and answer them right away.
I’ve been feeling a lot of fear and self doubt at work and I hate feeling this way. I also feel like I’m being super overworked and overwhelmed and it is too much. I don’t want to be back in that space again. It is just a lot when you feel so under appreciated and stressed in the workplace. It’s also hard to set boundaries with people because I don’t want to come off as the “Angry Black Woman” or labeled as being difficult or anti social when I’m just trying to set boundaries. For example, trying to eat lunch and people keep barging in and asking questions when you clearly see me eating lunch. Like come back later when I’m done and it is too hot to sit out in my car but I am deserving of a lunch break without being interrupted.
It’s been a lot lately but life in general has been okay. I just want to be in a better mental headspace when it comes to the workplace. How have you been? Let’s chat
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