Throwback Post: I Needed To Believe In Myself More

Hey there, Happy Monday. I’m writing again in real time but wanted to share this post from last year. During the end of December I share what the current year has taught me and I needed this reminder from last year, believing in myself. This is something that I’ve been struggling with so much and just needed to see this again. I’ll be doing this series again this year and boy do I have a lot I learned this year but enjoy and remember to believe in yourself please!

Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas and got everything you wanted. I honestly do miss my large family gatherings. It just feels weird to still be seeing family via Zoom or video calls. I hope things start to get better especially next year so we can see people in person safely. Speaking of next year, until Friday I will be reflecting on what 2021 Taught Me. To be honest, it was a lot for me and thankful I got through this year. In a way it still feels like 2020 but just adding on chapters. 

What I’ll be writing about this week may seem harsh and a lot but just being honest with myself. I feel like I could of believed in myself a lot more than I did. I know I always preach about being positive, positive vibes only and all but wasn’t practicing too much of that myself. I still had my negative thoughts, self sabotaging, doubting myself and so much more. It was starting to become mentally draining. I know I could of done better for myself this year. I am thankful for finding employment this year. I had to dig deep and believe that someone wanted to hire me because I had thoughts that I wasn’t good enough and no one wanted to hire me after my previous toxic environment. I saw the power of changing my mindset and pouring more into myself and look what happened. Now I’ll say this current environment is starting to take a bit of an negative toll on my mental health but it is not as bad as it was before. 

I wished I believed more in myself with creating content and everything. I struggled still with watching how others are received on platforms, sponsored posts, hitting follower milestones and so on. I was thankful for the few sponsored posts I did have but I feel like they failed in my eyes. It bothered me how people didn’t show up for my content like I do for them. It discouraged me so much, thinking I won’t get opportunities like that again because of how badly my content did. I still doubt myself, thinking people are no longer liking what I put out, that people are not checking for me and so on. I feel like I have to conform to what everyone else is doing to be accepted and people to like my content and want to follow but I don’t. I want to do what works for me and not be a follower. 

A lot of what 2021 taught me this years ties into each other. It was a lot but I am willing to take what I’ve learned and apply to it 2022. I feel like I am on the way to rebuilding and rediscovering myself. I feel like I just need to focus on me and figuring out what I need to do to improve and better myself. Has 2021 taught you anything this year? Let’s chat.

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