Just Needed To Get This Out Because I’m Not Okay…..

I had to go back and reference my other platform but I wrote a piece right after Philando Castile was murdered. It triggered me because his daughter was in the car when it happened and being a mother it really affected me. I debated back and forth to even write something because I was scared. I was still pretty new to blogging and felt it was time for me not to be scared and use my platform to speak up. I was honestly pretty surprised by the responses I got and was a little taken back by the people who unfollowed me. I learned that I can’t be afraid to speak up and use my platform to just educate others on what is going on the black community.

Years later, I find myself in the same boat, angry and outraged by the senseless murders that are caught on camera and we watch and wonder when justice will be served? I am not afraid to speak out anymore and will do it in a heartbeat about the injustice and discrimination of the black community. We have witnessed Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd’s murder on social media and heard about Breonna Taylor’s and we are still waiting on justice to be served. We are tired of this and waiting for change to come. We just want to be treated equally and fairly like everyone else and for OUR LIVES TO MATTER!!!

Last week, I honestly went through a rollercoaster of emotions. After watching George Floyd, I was so angry because here we are in 2020 and still being murdered for being black. When he was calling out that he couldn’t breathe and calling out for his mom, I lost it. I am raising a son in the midst of this couldn’t phantom the thought of something like this happening to him or any other black man. His life mattered. Yes those officers involved have been fired but we are waiting on the arrest and conviction. At this time, the main officer involved has been arrested and charged with 3rd degree murder and we are waiting on the arrest of the other three. I feel like at this point, we as a community had enough. We have pleaded for respect and to stop killing us. We watched as countless people got away with the murders of innocent unarmed black men and got to live their lives as their families are left with the pain and sorrow of the loss of their loved one with no justice. I think something set us off to really make some noise and get everyone’s attention.

I watched the news as the protests started and then I saw the fires, the looting and the riots. It felt like we were really trying to send the message that we want justice, we want things to changes, we want black lives to matter! I hope that we have been heard, that some conversation starts to bring change that people are held accountable for their actions and change actually happens. It is just so tiring to keep going through this, to keep fighting to be respected, to keep screaming #blacklivesmatter and keep trying to explain it to others.

I pray that we are finally being heard and will be listened to. I pray that change actually starts to happen and justice will be served. I pray that our children will never have to experience this when they grow up. I pray that we finally start to be seen as equals, start to be respected and not automatically judged for our skin color. I just want change like everyone else does. I don’t want anymore hashtags, to see any more unarmed innocent black men and women being murdered and no justice is served. I don’t want to keep explaining that all lives don’t matter until black lives matter. I just tired of being tired of this and I know so many of us are.

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