I cannot get over that Christmas will be here next week and I haven’t finished my shopping. This is going to be me this weekend, literally lol!

Anyway, hopefully you guys have been enjoying Blogmas so far. I have to say this is so much easier than recording and editing everyday for me but I would attempt to do it again in the future…..maybe.

I know you saw the title of this post and wondering what I’m talking about or why I would say that. Since I’ve been in self reflection mode lately, friends and friendships have been at the top of my list. I ave written some previous posts about friendships and what not but didn’t take the time to check myself or look in the mirror about the friend I was being to others. When I actually took a step back and evaluated myself, I realized I haven’t been a good friend all along.

I thought I knew what a friend was and what a friendship was. I know they were so much easier when we were younger. All you did was walk up to someone and ask them to be your friend or if you played really well together, you were automatically friends. Being friends as adults is not so simple.

I honestly realized I didn’t check in with people as much or gave up too easy on people, well some people I needed to distance myself from but those worth saving, I didn’t try. I would get all up in arms because I saw other people and celebrities being reposted but nothing I was doing but never said anything. People would do or say things I didn’t like but never said anything. I was always the goofy, wild, life of the party friend I thought. I honestly didn’t know how to really be there emotionally for other at times.

I never knew how to have those difficult conversations with friends either. When I tried before it blew up in my face or they played victim like I was being the mean guy so I closed myself off from doing that but if I can’t call you out on your shit but you can call me out, there is a problem. We are adults and should be able to have those conversations so there isn’t any tension or miscommunications. I just could never have those conversations because in my mind, friendship are supposed to run smoothly and be all good all the time.

As much as I preached about friendships, posted about it, I needed to be taking that advice and applying it to myself. I have a better understanding of what a friend is and what a friendship should look like. I have to learn that people may be going through something they are not ready to talk about yet, it is no reason to give up when they don’t answer your calls or texts. There are some people that you didn’t realize are toxic and didn’t know it, they may do or say things you don’t like, you need to sit and have a heart to heart with that person. You can’t check in every once in a blue moon and get mad when people don’t check in with you. It is a two way street unless people are just straight up ignoring you. You have to check in more often. Your friends may not have the same likes or hobbies as you so you can’t get mad when they don’t support what you do, they may not care…well that’s a different post but you get the point.

I need to be a better friend period. It is going to be some work but I know I can make those improvements.