It is hard to ignore things when they are constantly on your mind and you keep seeing it. I honestly felt compelled to write on this being that I can relate in a way.
I know that you may have seen the news about the infidelity “scandal” with Nicole Murphy and I couldn’t help but notice how people were shaming the wife (Lela Rochon) for how she looked and “let herself go” and it just made so angry. It infuriated me that people, especially men would say such a thing. Not every woman looks like Nicole Murphy and why should we have to look like that for our husbands not to cheat on us. It just made me feel some type of way that men were body shaming her for bearing children and not looking like she did 20 years ago. I am just tired of people judging and shaming women for not looking like “society” expects us to.
Being a wife and mother, I can understand that pressure to “snap back” fast and look like my old self. I am still trying to get adjusted to my new body. I was body shamed for most of my life before having my son. I have a high metabolism and have been naturally slim. I have been told that I need to eat something, been accused of having an eating disorder and it was so hurtful. I just kept trying to tell myself to be happy with the way GOD made me but those comment just stuck with me. It made me hate how I looked. I would get rude comments at the gym because of how slim I was and that I didn’t belong there.
After having my son, I struggled with trying to get back to myself, it was an adjustment. I was just happy when I was able to fit into my jeans again. I may not have the flat stomach or 6 pack like I used to and may never get it back but I am alive and healthy. I haven’t been in the gym consistently as I would like to be in the gym more often when I’m ready.
We shouldn’t let society dictate or tell us how we should look. We all can’t afford surgery (cough, cough), trainers or the diets to help. There are some women who have health conditions that cause weight gain or women who have trouble shedding the extra pounds. We brought life into the world, we have to run a household, work full time, pursue our side hustles, and trying to maintain out sanity. We all can’t look like the Drayas, Nicole Murphys and Instagram models of the world. We are all beautiful and unique in our own way and honestly should not be body shamed for not looking like the “society standard”.
I want to use my small platform to empower women, let you know that you are beautiful just that way you are and you should worry about what others think about you. I want to do something to help change those outdated standards and make new ones.
So if you see a woman out slaying in these streets, let her know you see her. You see your girl posted a fire IG pic, comment on it and share it to your stories. Let’s lift each other up, give complements to total strangers because you may never know that she may be suffering in silence. Let’s check on our friends more often ( I honestly need to work on that). Let’s just be the light. Let’s tell society we are standards, just not theirs.
Naturalle Drea 
Beautiful post, girl I can relate. Yes I saw men talking about her weight.They are vain as crap and it’s sad. I love lifting up women.Men too though because I’ve loss two of my in laws to suicide young male and female. Both happen to be overweight.Good for you for writing what you felt. It’s needed ,yes check on your friends &family encourage and uplift them.
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Yes! I was so mad when I read about Lela’s husband cheating on her and the men were just dead awful. I struggle with my weight every month, I gain 3 to 5 pounds because of endometriosis and then I work at it really hard to loose it! I’m so grateful that my hubby understands my body and knows that it will change constantly. I was triggered too Sis!
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