Naturalle Drea

I’ve been thinking a lot about so much and trying to figure out how to express it. Some thoughts are for my journal, some thoughts are meant for online and some thoughts should just remain in your head or meant for a professional (which I actually need to search for a new therapist). I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t share everything that you are thinking online.

So I’ve been in a little bit of a creative funk lately and thinking about a lot when it comes to creating content. I just had a few thoughts that I wanted to share on here. I’ve been fortunate to work with brands, been a brand ambassador and more. I’m thankful for those opportunities and looking to grow more and get paid more for the content I put out but lately I feel like what has been holding me back or hurting me is my current follower count and lack on engagement on my posts. It makes me think my content is trash at times but sometimes it is not that. I know brands work with creators with a lesser following like myself that have amazing engagement on their page. I’ve been turned down for a few opportunities and worried that I’ll be rejected again from the Ulta Beauty Collective because of the lack of engagement on my posts. I don’t get a lot of comments and sometimes I don’t receive any at all. It can be frustrating when you work so hard on something and it doesn’t get the response you thought it would and you start to think it is trash. I’ve looked at other pages of the people that were picked for the opportunities I was rejected for and see how others engage, share and more on their content and it kind of hurts sometimes. I would love some of the opportunities to expand and work with other brands and receive more money but I feel like the lack of things is hurting me. Hopefully this does not come off as complaining, just expressing how I am feeling. I am grateful for my journey so far and everything that I have accomplished and I’m allowed to express frustration with the process just like everyone else.

I also think that speaking out about certain things hurts too. I’ve always spoke about the murders of unarmed and innocent Black men, women and children, the wrong doings in this country and so on and I feel like sometimes that can hurt. I don’t feel sorry about speaking out or voicing my concerns about what is going on in this country and how people need to be held accountable for their actions or how people who commit crimes against others should be sitting in jail or even under the jail. I do notice that some creators never speak up and I see why others get upset. I know that sometimes we don’t have the words or don’t know what to say but not saying anything at all and just posting like nothing is going on or the world is not on fire is just crazy to me. Brands should be understanding that we are human, we have feelings and need to speak up when injustices are happening. We shouldn’t stay silent and just keep posting, the equivalent to shut up and dribble.

I’ve been feeling like things have been hurting me as a creator and not sure what to even do. I know I’ve been trying to work on this creator schedule so I have more time to edit and present better content. It has been hard trying to balance things at the moment, I’m human. I just would love the opportunities and just to hear more yes than no. It is okay for the rejections that I have received, that yes is coming soon.

I’ve been feeling like a shift is overdue for me and my content. I don’t know where it will take me but if it helps me and my creator journey, I’m willing to follow it.