Tis the season for self reflection and setting goals or resolutions for the new year. I’ve been in self reflection mode since September and boy was 2019 and interesting year lol. I have previous posts on some of the major lessons I learned this year but just wanted to highlight some of the good, the bad and the ugly that 2019 taught me.

The Good of 2019

I realized that hard work really does pay off and there are people out there checking for you lol. I was so grateful to work with some amazing brands this year. I was a brand ambassador for Bask & Bloom which was an amazing experience. I honestly didn’t think I would be picked but put my application in anyway and look what happened!

I really love how Candera really took the time out to help us be better influencers, teach us about running a business and being in the natural hair world. I appreciated it so much and took in all the information. I even got to appear with Bask & Bloom at the Hue Affair this year. It was so much fun and I enjoyed interacting with others and just being in that moment.

Another amazing thing that happened this year was being part of the NJ Natural Hair and Beauty Expo Blogger Breakfast.

I was really surprised by this and just grateful for the opportunity! I was along side some other amazing women and was just happy to be in the room with other amazing women and talk about natural hair lol.

I also had brands reach out to review their products! I thought this wouldn’t happen because I don’t have the thousands of followers or subscribers. I was just thankful that someone saw the potential in me and my hard work was really starting to pay off. I also noticed some brands watching my Insta Stories and it is just crazy to me. Now the next step is to start monitizing more and stepping up the content a bit.

And to think I wanted to throw in the towel and quit being a content creator lol. People do watch you and think your content is amazing. Its not about the numbers too much, its about the quality and your engagement.

The Bad and Ugly of 2019

This year wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows for me. Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons and making you learn the hard way.

I said at the beginning of the year that I was going to level up and be more consistent and didn’t have a set plan on how I was going to do that. I overwhelmed myself again and tried doing too much at once. I just got so caught up in chasing what everyone else was doing and accomplishing that I lost my focus for myself.

I’ve had a bad case of imposter syndrome this year as well. I honestly didn’t realize until I was listening to a poscast talking about it and it just hit me all at once. I doubt, down play, talk myself out of so many opportunities all the time and always feel like I don’t belong. Its been really rough on me. I’m determined to push past this.

I also had an issue trying to set boundaries that were never there and speak up for myself. I hate being in difficult situations and dealing with difficult people but sometimes you have to. I never set boundaries with certain people so when I tried to enforce them, I looked liked the mean person. I will let some things happen and not speak up in fear of causing conflict or tension. I can’t be that way anymore. I really have to learn to enforce and set those boundaries with no guilt and learn to have those difficult conversations.

I also have not been taking care of myself like I should be. I’m wasting money on a gym membership and I thought I would have no excuse about going because it was close to my house. I notice how I feel when I’m not active in the gym vs when I am. I want to feel good about myself and how I look in my clothes and just how I feel about myself as a whole.

I’ve really slacked off with the self care and daily feminine maintenance that I love so much like makeup, nails and fashion. I want to get back into slaying in these streets okay! I can’t force things and just need to get more organized and it will come.